Beach with Megpie/Armpit Update

As you can see, my armpits reaaaallly aren't that hairy, even though it's been like a month since shaving.

Also demonstrated in these photos is just how glorious it is at the beach, and how much I adore my MegPie.

Not a lot to say

I'm still here at MMC... loving it.

Not much exciting news at the moment, but I wanted y'all to know that life is rockin' and I'm reading lots of books and spending lots of great time with wonderful people, as well as lots of great time by myself.

I miss Portland.

I am excited for the future. Very very excited.

I love you all.

Ending Silence and not ever wanting to go back

I lasted about 32 hours in silence before I accidently slipped up in asana class when I had a question. Oops.

It was ROUGH. Not being able to chime in and respond to all of the conversations around was frustrating. And even more frustrating was when I needed to communicate something of importance and writing it down on a little piece of paper wasn't do-able (like while hiking.) I decided I'd go for a second day though... I thought it'd be easier than the first since I kind of knew what I'd be dealing with. As aforementioned, the second day was not completed. I do intend to try again sometime even though I was pretty grouchy by the end of day one. Perhaps on Thursday?

Things have been good. The newness of the place has worn off, so I find myself being prone to more times of feeling like "old Michelle" but at the same time, maintaining the awareness that I've gained since coming here. Most days however, I'm still in bliss:-)

On another note, back a couple of weeks ago I had been driving Meg's car (her name is Ginger) and hit a garbage can that had been semi-in the road and taken off her side view mirror. Oops. I felt horribly, of course, worse than if it had been my own car. We'd gone to Napa Auto, where they assured us that the epoxy that they sold us would do the trick. Nope. So I bought a new mirror online and had it shipped to us. I asked Vishwanath if he'd be able to install it for me. He smiled, and wrote on his chalk board (he's been silent for 30-some YEARS!!!) that he'd take a look at it with me and set me up with some tools. He insisted that ladies should learn how to do this sort of thing :-) So I did! It took me a while, but I took door panel off, unscrewed all the screws, only lost one nut down the inside of the door, disconnected the wires, etc. etc. But I did it! I haven't been this proud of something in a long time. Ginger looks great.

Additionally, I think I have a plan formulating regarding what I'd like to do post-Mount Madonna. I'm not going to write it out here because nothing is set in stone as of yet... but I will say that I'm pretty psyched, and that it involves going to school. There are a lot of little pieces that need to come together, but my vision is getting clearer every day. VERY EXCITED.

Love you all.

Namaste.

Beginning Silence

I slept outside under the stars last night. I hauled my foam mattress out to the patio and stared at the sky for a long time before drifting off. It was cool and fall like. Sock-sleeping weather. It was gorgeous. At some point during the night, a random cat came and shared my bed with me. Made me miss my little ones back in Maine.

Upon awaking in the early morning light, cat at my side, I decided that I'd take today and make it my first attempt at a day of silence. It's difficult already and I've only just made it through breakfast. People are telling stories and chatting and all I want to do is chime in. I am carrying around paper and pen to communicate, but I'm trying to use it minimally.

I'll let you know how the rest of the day goes...

~om~

So alive

I feel so amazing right now. Colors brighter, food tastes better, hills don't seem so steep... never better.

Some contributing factors:

• My diet is incredible here. I have granola with nuts, fruit, and cinnamon every morning with a soy/rice milk blend. For lunch and dinner I have a large salad (never before have I enjoyed salads... at all...) with sunflower seeds, flax seeds, and Bragg's Liquid Aminos, in addition to a small amount of whatever entree they are serving (generally an assortment of cooked vegetables and a soy or wheat protein) and a bit of whole grains. Dessert is only served once a week here, and while it's taken some getting used to, I don't miss it nearly as much as I thought I might. And if I do want something sweet, I have some rhubarb that I got from the garden and cooked up with cinnamon and a touch of raw sugar, or I have a piece of homemade bread with Earth Balance, cinnamon and raw sugar. I drink several cups of tea daily. No alcohol, cigarrettes and maybe 2 or 3 cups of coffee a week (which is a huge step down from the 10-12 shots of espresso each day that I was consuming prior.)


• I've been much better about taking my multivitamins and calcium supplement since being here. Plus I've added a Vitamineral green superfood powder to my regiment and I swear that the last three days I've had more energy and colors have been brighter. I mix it with the soy/rice milk and have it with breakfast and dinner. I've also discovered Kombucha, and plan on stocking up on it during my next trip to town.


• I'm practicing asana 5-6 times each week. I usually go to class about 4 days a week and then the other days I'll do my own practice. Even though the classes here aren't generally as physically challenging as what I am accustomed to at home, it is a good mental exercise for me, and I am learn about different schools of thought concerning asana and alignment, which is quite valueable. Plus my own practices get me moving and sweating so I am not missing that as much as I would be otherwise.


• The amount of internal work I'm doing is amazing. I'm journaling at least once a day. I'm processing and asking questions and really enjoying it! In the past, doing this kind of work has been tedious and unpleasant and felt like a chore because so much of my energy was expended in other areas of my life. I never really could keep focus or the desire burning. Here, when I'm not working, it's all I want to do! I'm finding so much joy and acceptance within myself. I can feel my confidence rising and sometimes I'm just so happy that I want to run around and let everyone know how lovely I feel.

I wish everyone could have an experience like this. I highly, highly recommend it. I feel so blessed to be here and have this opportunity. What a gift. I never expected any of this here; it's really all a surprise to be transforming this much.

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On another note, there is a group here for a silent Buddhist retreat right now. There are about 55 of them and they are all completely silent from Friday through tomorrow. It's really interesting... makes me want to try it for a day. It's interesting watching them walking as a group. They all spread out and don't make eye contact and don't break off into groups like people normally do. I suppose that even though they spend all this time with the same people that they aren't able to get to know any of them or make any sort of connection. Some of them do cheat though... I've had a couple people whisper to me about one thing or another that they need.

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I am SO happy here. Even when I get in a funky mood, I snap right out of it like nothing. I miss Portland, and I can't believe that tomorrow I will have been here 3 weeks already. Still no plans for after the program...

Namaste all!

Perfect

I had the most wonderful day yesterday. Meg, Dan and I went into town because Meg has some errands to run. It was just so beautiful outside and the temperature was finally comfortable. We cruised down the 1 with the windows down, The Postal Service blasting, and with my feet out the window. Bliss.
While Meg was at her appointment, Dan and I went to a beach. We laid out on the sand, went swimming, I half-filled my belly with salt water, and he read aloud part of a book he was reading. All I can think of is the word "perfect." It describes the sky, the temperature, the mountains on the horizon, the sand, the water. Meg came and joined after she was done and we went swimming again. It's only a little warmer than the water in Maine, but, again, perfect. We ate burritos for dinner and headed back to the mountain for our meeting.

Our meeting was run by a man who's lived here since the beginning (35 years? ish?) and I can't remember his sanskrit name (most people here have them and they are all so difficult to remember) but I'll call him SD. He is a teacher at the Mount Madonna School and has done some really amazing things. He talked to us about karma yoga and yoga in general. Very intelligent man with a lot to share.

Karma yoga is really a fascinating practice, and it really is a practice because it's sincerely difficult to stop your brain from thinking a certain way after it's been programmed your whole life. Karma yoga doing something (a job, a role, etc.) because it's what you're motivated to do- not because it's what you're being paid to do, or because it's what you've been told to do. SD worded it so eloquently- I wish I could remember what he said verbatim. It's working for the sake of the task, not for any result or for recognition or reward. It's really quite powerful. And even though I came here to "work for free" I still hadn't quite shifted my viewpoint. I was going to work because that's what I was signed up to do. And after last night, I'm genuinely going to try to work for the greater good. I'm going to go scrub that floor because it's needs to be scrubbed and because the greater community benefits from it. It will certainly bring me more joy and peace. It's a shift- and it'll take some practice to think this way on a more regular basis, but I'm pretty psyched about all this new stuff.

Alright- enough for now. Meg just informed me that she's headed to Santa Cruz again. Another beach day????

Perfect.